Reluctant Nomad

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

I went grocery shopping last night. It was late, the store was getting ready to close and I was earnestly counting Euros to see if I had enough to buy every-little-cottonpickin-thing that a family of four needs in a foreign country--you know, things like Meister Proper and Sauerkraut.

Anyway, I'm trying to decide what bottle of honey to buy. I want to be modest and not get the size-of-your-head bottle that I'd like to open and drink right then and there like any depressed mama poo bear would. With moderation gleaming from my conscience, I decide on the small bottle, you know, the one that is almost bigger than your thumb, hoping that will mitigate my bread mit honig habit. When great golly be--there's the Nutella. It's practically jumping off of the shelf. It is screaming louder than a post-birth hemoroid for me to purchase it. NOW. Until this very moment, I have refused to buy any kind of chocolate to just "keep" in the house knowing that keeping is not what it will be doing. More like digesting, in my already over-full tummy. But today, I am tempted. I slowly pick up the generic version of Nutella. I daren't (I love crap-shooting for words like this one, it's not right, but it sticks) look at the label for fear that the ingredient list will put me over the edge. But I can't help it. I look. And below where I'm sure it says something about how irresistible this generic version of hazelnut chocolate spread is, it says something that absolutely sends me into a spiral of self-disgusted glee.

Gluten-frei.

Sold.

Dear Austria,

Why must you make me eat honey (now Nutella) and bakery bread for every meal? Why must you create chocolate banana musli that just jumps into my cart at the Markt? Why did you give me a Wuerstel stand around the corner from my house? And why, oh why, did you FORCE me to eat all of your wonderful food, full fat dairy products, sausages of every shape and variety, AND chocolate that doesn't taste a bit like plastic?

My cholesterol is not going to like this. Shame on you.

Vexed in Vienna,

Maralise

Labels: The Move

posted by Reluctant Nomad at 2:58 PM -

6 Comments:

At 3/10/07 3:43 PM, Emily Marie said…

LOL, Love it! I have the same problem only you have it with better tasting stuff! I have all artifical, additives and plastic chocolate here! Just go for a jog, then you can feel good about it!!
At 3/10/07 4:20 PM, Jennifer B. said…

I don't think I can feel sorry for you because I am too jealous. But I should have a little empathy.

Nope. Can't do it.

Mmmmm chocolate. (and sausages!)
At 4/10/07 2:35 AM, loudaisy said…

Hooray for Gluten free. I was sold way before you got to that part. Now how can you resist. I love how you wrote the story. I felt like I was next to you in the grocery store. I am so jealous of the good food you are surrounded with.
At 4/10/07 9:17 PM, Adri said…

You gotta by the Nutella for your boy, right? GREAT excuse. Same one I use for adding extra butter to EVERYTHING around here...just sacrificing for the sake of the babies! :) Fun story!
At 6/10/07 3:06 AM, Brooke said…

my favorite thing to do in foreign countries (okay, anywhere) = go to the grocery store.

and the day costco started carrying the bulk-sized nutella was a horrible (okay, fabulous) day indeed.
At 8/10/07 10:47 PM, Nana said…

great laugh - thanks! needed that :) living in Singapore is a little different. I'd love to buy all my "home town" foods, but because of the high tarrifs and taxes, they are at least twice the price! And they're not always available (kind of like Canned Food Warehouse) But, I do it anyway, and gain weight. It took me 2 years to get over the guilt when I wasn't learning to like the "local" stuff, but, I'm sorry, fish tail soup and durian (God really goofed when he created this orange scented cat pee 'fruit')just don't do anything for me, except make me throw up!! Wait, maybe I'd lose some weight!!