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| You know how long I've loved you |
It only took an hour and a half to give the medical history.
Yeah.
I'm impressed with the doctors here but it's just so painful to get an appointment/work with the auxiliary staff because of the whole LANGUAGE BARRIER issue. You know, the one where I speak a different language than they do? And neither of us are THAT good at the other person's language of choice? I've been terrified of making the appointment and then, even worse, going to it.
Why?
Because Bam Bam is on the border of being diagnosed with any number of conditions and this doctor wanted to doubt his previous diagnosis (you know, the ones that have revolutionized our lives for the better and worse over the last couple of years? Yeah, those ones). And although I trust our previous docs and his previous diagnosis, I know, have always known, that none of his tests have been 100% conclusive (because of a thousand different factors, I won't bore you. I'm sure you don't want the 90 minute medical history). And because he's not gaining weight, we're now headed for more. More tests. More specialists. More uncertainty.
Frankly, I didn't handle this process that well when we lived in a country where I could communicate with the staff. When I didn't have to pay for everything out of pocket first and then get it reimbursed at out-of-country rates later.
They took 10 vials of blood today. And a urine sample. They want a stool sample. I have to go back in a month. With a detailed description (with weights in METRIC) of his diet. She wants more allergy tests. And to rethink his diet. Potentially change his diet and test him again for Celiac. Somehow figure out if we need to cut out milk. I trust her enough to follow through with what she wants. But I feel like we're starting over. Again. Didn't we just go through this?
Of course I'll do anything to see if he will gain weight and look like a four-year-old instead of a really intelligent two-year-old. Of course I'll go to any expense to get him the best care. But sometimes my will doesn't match my desires. And my desires don't match my heart. And my heart is just. plain. confused. |
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| 10 Comments: |
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You are an amazing mother, Mara. Wow. Even when will doesn't match desire, as you say.
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Oh, Mara....so many things to think and pray over. You are a strong, brave mama, and just what Grey needs. Love you.
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Mara, I wish you the best of luck. I know exactly what you mean paying out of pocket and then waiting months for the money. I also feel your pain about the staff not speaking in English. Luckily I have Justin with me that I make make all the appointments and come to all appointments. I will pray for Grey. You are an AWESOME mom and a great SISTER!! Thanks again for the wonderful recipes. Tammy
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I am reminded of something you have said to me in the past, that sometimes a diagnosis does not bring the comfort you hope for. You are an amazing mother to Grey. The motivation to do what has to be done is the hardest part.
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He is blessed to have you loving him and caring for him and enduring difficult doctor appointments and more test with him.
Best--
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Mara, I am so sorry all of this is happening. We will definitely have you guys in our thoughts and prayers. If there is anyone I know that will handle this incredibly, it would be you. That sweet boy is lucky to have you as his mom.
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I can only imagine the language barrier, that would drive me crazy.
I thought only I wrote in the most creative code ever. I hope that you get the news you are looking for, and that any new diagnosis isn't too much to deal with.
xo r
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Yuck- I am so sorry you both have to go through this-again
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Wow, it is a constant uphill battle with health problems isn't it? My heart goes out to you and to Grey. Anyone who has gone through the long process of doctor's visits, misdiagnoses, failed cures, and dashed hopes can relate to the long road you are on. I also sympathize with that first visit to a new doctor where desperate feelings of hope are mixed with skepticism and fear. Use your unique brand of mother's intuition and discernment and everything will be okay. Love you!
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Name: Reluctant Nomad
Home: Austria
About Me: I photograph banal subjects to remind myself of the beauty in everyday life. I have two little boys who love me even when I'm crazy and a hubby who loves me in spite of it.
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Brushes by Gvalkyrie
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posted by Reluctant Nomad at 
You are an amazing mother, Mara. Wow. Even when will doesn't match desire, as you say.